Holiday crunchtime is almost here. So now, is the time to prepare for it. First, take a deep breath, then exhale, then look around your town at all the beautiful decorations, lights, santas, and happy smiling faces of the children in anticipation of getting presents on christmas morning. Then go home and remind yourself that YOU are responsible for making it happen in YOUR home. Now, I know that's not all true but it certainly feels that way sometimes.
STRESSED, ALMOST OUT OF TIME AND LOSING PATIENCE
If we're stressed with the "normal" things we have to do at this time of the year, then why take on more? Picture this, someone asks for your help with some christmas festivity. The first thing that comes to mind is "oh, no! I can't possibly fit anything else into my schedule" then you get a sinking feeling. You really don't want to take another task on but you eek out a "yes" or "uh, ok". You don't want to do it but you say "yes" out of habit. Now you're really stressed! On top of stressed, you have less time to do what YOU need to get done and you're running out of patience! If this is you, then you, and I, know that it's time for a change!
Remember for this time next year, that the best time to assess your limits, set boundaries and divide your holiday time is right after Halloween. That gives you 3-4 weeks before Thanksgiving to assess your time limits. Once Thanksgiving arrives, the holidays have begun. But, what if you miss it again? Let's see.
First of all, it's important to remind yourself that usually, people who agree to give of their time will be asked over and over again. So, it's time for you to set your limits. Figure out exactly how much time you can give and how many outside projects you can and/or WANT TO be involved in (yes, you can decide not to do something even if you do have the time to do it), it's still your choice.
OVERDRAINED?
Tell yourself that this is what you can afford to do, that your time and energy are like money in the bank (especially during the holidays) and, just like money in the bank, when you use up your reserves and don't take time to replenish them, you'll become overdrawn (or in this case overdrained).
WAYS TO TAKE BACK YOUR TIME
Now, because you're (and I say you, but I've had the same problem in the past, so I'm not judging), automatically in the habit of saying "yes" to requests, you'll have to practice saying no by saying things like, "I'm already committed at that time", "this is something I'm not interested in" or I'm sorry but, I won't be able to help with this (or that)". Practice this by repeating these statements out loud. You'll need to hear yourself say them aloud for them to sound "normal" to you. Practice these responses to use when you've decided that an offer is not for you.
REASONS WHY WE BECAME THIS WAY
Those of us who tend to get "sucked into" or rather "roped in" is a better description, do so because the person asked us with disclaimers like, "it won't take long", "Please, I can't find anyone else to do it", "it'll be just this once", "I won't ask again", or any number of phrases that usually work! These aren't reasons to say, "yes", they're only reasons the asker is putting on you.
On the other side, not wanting to let someone down, being afraid that they will get angry with you, or you feel duty-bound, are all reasons that you're putting on yourself. Thinking this way takes away your ability to judge the worth of the task in comparison to your available time, your energy, and your actual interest in the task.
START A NEW HABIT
Then, start a new habit. By practicing sentences, it'll help you to not accept a task that you really don't want to do. You won't waste your time or, at the very least, it'll give you extra time to consider if the task is really something that you'd like to do. Then, when you say yes, you'll say it because you want to help. Begin to let your yes be a mindful affirmation rather than another reason to be "frazzled".
I hope you feel encouraged to post your personal experiences of feeling overwhelmed and frazzled by the holidays or at anytime of the year. Remember, being frazzled doesn't only happen during the holidays, it can happen at any time. We can use the exercises in this article to set boundaries and assess our time at home, at the office, during the holidays or anytime.
Enjoy this commercial that aired back during our "wonder years" (early 1960s) and please post a comment.
Remember to stay funky, stay fab!
STRESSED, ALMOST OUT OF TIME AND LOSING PATIENCE
If we're stressed with the "normal" things we have to do at this time of the year, then why take on more? Picture this, someone asks for your help with some christmas festivity. The first thing that comes to mind is "oh, no! I can't possibly fit anything else into my schedule" then you get a sinking feeling. You really don't want to take another task on but you eek out a "yes" or "uh, ok". You don't want to do it but you say "yes" out of habit. Now you're really stressed! On top of stressed, you have less time to do what YOU need to get done and you're running out of patience! If this is you, then you, and I, know that it's time for a change!
Remember for this time next year, that the best time to assess your limits, set boundaries and divide your holiday time is right after Halloween. That gives you 3-4 weeks before Thanksgiving to assess your time limits. Once Thanksgiving arrives, the holidays have begun. But, what if you miss it again? Let's see.
First of all, it's important to remind yourself that usually, people who agree to give of their time will be asked over and over again. So, it's time for you to set your limits. Figure out exactly how much time you can give and how many outside projects you can and/or WANT TO be involved in (yes, you can decide not to do something even if you do have the time to do it), it's still your choice.
OVERDRAINED?
Tell yourself that this is what you can afford to do, that your time and energy are like money in the bank (especially during the holidays) and, just like money in the bank, when you use up your reserves and don't take time to replenish them, you'll become overdrawn (or in this case overdrained).
WAYS TO TAKE BACK YOUR TIME
Now, because you're (and I say you, but I've had the same problem in the past, so I'm not judging), automatically in the habit of saying "yes" to requests, you'll have to practice saying no by saying things like, "I'm already committed at that time", "this is something I'm not interested in" or I'm sorry but, I won't be able to help with this (or that)". Practice this by repeating these statements out loud. You'll need to hear yourself say them aloud for them to sound "normal" to you. Practice these responses to use when you've decided that an offer is not for you.
REASONS WHY WE BECAME THIS WAY
Those of us who tend to get "sucked into" or rather "roped in" is a better description, do so because the person asked us with disclaimers like, "it won't take long", "Please, I can't find anyone else to do it", "it'll be just this once", "I won't ask again", or any number of phrases that usually work! These aren't reasons to say, "yes", they're only reasons the asker is putting on you.
On the other side, not wanting to let someone down, being afraid that they will get angry with you, or you feel duty-bound, are all reasons that you're putting on yourself. Thinking this way takes away your ability to judge the worth of the task in comparison to your available time, your energy, and your actual interest in the task.
START A NEW HABIT
Then, start a new habit. By practicing sentences, it'll help you to not accept a task that you really don't want to do. You won't waste your time or, at the very least, it'll give you extra time to consider if the task is really something that you'd like to do. Then, when you say yes, you'll say it because you want to help. Begin to let your yes be a mindful affirmation rather than another reason to be "frazzled".
I hope you feel encouraged to post your personal experiences of feeling overwhelmed and frazzled by the holidays or at anytime of the year. Remember, being frazzled doesn't only happen during the holidays, it can happen at any time. We can use the exercises in this article to set boundaries and assess our time at home, at the office, during the holidays or anytime.
Enjoy this commercial that aired back during our "wonder years" (early 1960s) and please post a comment.
Remember to stay funky, stay fab!
No comments:
Post a Comment